Hold out your hand, say please.

Porter in hand. Cat napping on the bed with me. Room a mess.

Things I'm thinking about:
Cuddle rape
Cleaning my room
Headache from hairband
Fun new people from dinner
The feasibility of my argument for the existence of the Loch Ness Monster
Cabbits vs. lynxes
Skype
Failing

Addressed below in order of appearance:

Cuddle Rape
Not a fun (or socially acceptable) thing.

Cleaning My Room
Desperately, disparagingly needs to happen. I often self-assess and think "wow, I would feel a lot more together and in-control if only my room was tidy." I should do that. I will do that! I wish I could do that tomorrow, but I've promised myself for drinks. I should promise myself for drinks less. I'd get much more done and feel much better. About life, togetherness, and money. See below.

Headache from Hairband
I got beautiful feather hairbands and they are all tight enough to cause me physical pain.

Fun New People from Dinner
I guess there was only one new person at dinner. No, two. I liked them both. One more than the other. She understood when I told her I have a really hard time not texting people I want to hang out with. Over-inviting. I really like hanging out with some people! It's nice to find people who understand that, though I was mildly embarrassed when she mentioned that "will power had never been a problem for her."

The feasibility of my argument for the existence of the Loch Ness Monster
It was brought to my attention quite abruptly yesterday that my argument for the existence of Nessie maaay not be as sound as I'd hoped, and perhaps I've been unjustly resting on my laurels. Here's what, until yesterday, I believed to be a solid case for her:

When whatever the fuck killed all the dinosaurs happened upon the earth, be it giant comet or hot hot heat wave, it didn't affect whatever type of dinosaur lives in Loch Ness because they were underwater at the time. There is a whole colony of still-living water-dwelling dinosaurs living in Loch Ness at present, they are just very sneaky and do not like being photographed (didn't you see that movie?).

Hmm... upon further examination, it appears that I am a champion of science. I should push this argument on a global scale.

Cabbits vs. Lynxes
New dinner friend said lynxes are cats with rabbit feet. And that her cat is 1/2 lynx. Maybe at some point I will research this, when I am done being simultaneously embarrassed of believing cabbits to be real for years, and glad for the childlike wonderment (gullability, some might say) that allowed me to not question it for a moment.

Skype
Frustration soundddd. Perhaps this is normal or perhaps I have severe Skype performance anxiety. Beforehand, I think about what in my life is interesting enough to present to the other party as newsworthy. I run through a few things that I want to be sure to hit on during the conversation. Important things swirling around my head that must be imparted. Sometimes when I'm pre-Skype thinking, I articulate one of my thoughts in the most perfect way, and think of how I must, must be sure to not forget that one.
This conversation will be their knowledge of my life, the sole impression, of how things are going for me, of how I'm progressing, of how loosely or tightly I have my shit together, until we "Skype" again. That is pressure.
Add to that history, nervousness, and a knack for articulating thoughts in a manner far inferior to how they were before you went and ruined them with words, and you've got a really difficult form of communication.
But I'll take it any day. It's refreshing, and once you hit stride, even if it takes a little while, it's fun and feels normal. And nice, very very nice.

Failing in General
Credit card is a giant mess of fail right now when I was so tangibly close to being done with it. I make plenty of money to live and pay bills and do social things within reason. I become furious with myself about money, daily. I must change that.
School hasn't happened yet for me this semester. I must change that too.

And, my iris are dwindling. I divided them this year and they are looking defeated. To be expected, since they went from big clusters to much smaller go-aloners, but it'd give me much more peace if they'd just perk up and be super green and lush, though I s'pose that's a bit uncharacteristic for FALL (quickly becoming a contender for my favorite season, right up there with Summer, Spring, and Winter. Must I pick?).
Anyway, hope they hop-to by the spring. Disappoint may well abound if they, and I, miss a season of blooms.

I have needs.

Many are the normal kind. The need to be told I'm funny. The need for people to leave me alone. Conversely, the need for people to quit ignoring me. The need to not be the only one maintaining a friendship. The need to take a hot bath daily. The need to clean my room. The need to feng shui my apartment like now. The need to know. The need to know more than the need-to-know.

But most prominent among my many, super normal needs are my communication needs. I have them. Lots of them. They may not be rational, but they are there. And a real thing. Respect. Or just accept. That's fine too.

On the whole, it's a fair statement to say that rarely are my communication needs met in their entirety. I won't say never, because I don't agree with the word never on principle. I feel it might be helpful to be able to send prospective communication partners a quick link to my needs, and then they can assess from there whether they're ready to "make the plunge." Ergo:

The Most Basic Communication Protocol Ever Written That Should Be Respected and Adhered to by All Who Wish to Be Friends or More-Than-Friends With Me and Probably the Rest of the World In General for Ease And Consistency.

Texting.

1. Texts telling me we "need to talk soon" will forever be stressful. Also, if you start a textfrontation and then say "doing this in text is silly," that is dumb.
2. I promise I never mean to be mean in texts. Just expressive! Promise. I have a lot of feelings (that I do my best to express in person so hopefully this is a non-issue).
   
3. If you are going to send me a "K" response, just don't respond.
4. Respond to all texts that merit response with something that is not "K", and is preferably at least minimally amusing. Please note: all of my texts merit response. I can't help it that I'm full of important, response-worthy shit to say.
   
5. Do not get weird about me double-texting you. It happens, especially when I think of the hilarious thing I forgot to say.
6. It's okay to double-text me.
7. Please no "Are you home?" texts. It feels like a trap. Every time.
   
8. Adorable, cute, sexy, and beautiful are welcomed and encouraged in any text.
9. "Not tonight, sorry" is not.

Phone calls.

1. I don't like 'em. Notable exceptions: when I initiate them (or at least anticipate them)* or when they are from foreign lands. *I reserve the right to quit liking at any time.
2. Sometimes, you might think my phone does certain things... that it might not do. For example, answering calls, receiving calls, and delivering voicemails are all things that my phone may opt out of by and by. It's out of my control.
   

Facebook Messages.

1. If you text me something, sending me a Facebook message later saying the exact same thing is strange. Very much so.

Face-to-Face Communication.

1. THE BEST. Every time. We can do that pretty much anytime you want. But please be good at not talking about yourself the whole time. And please be a good listener. I will never love you (friend or more-than-friend) if you can't listen.

Things I Love.

1. I want everyone to love the things I love. This includes people, awesome Youtube vids, activities, music, animals, etc. You must love and reference them often.
   

Chatty Things.

1. Gchat - there are only a few people I care to chat with on Gchat (read: one). If you are not them, sawreeee. Maybe let's not Gchat (unless, of course, I initiate!)
   
2. FBchat - there are several of you. You know who you are.
   
3. Skype - I usually don't realize I'm signed in on my phone. And also, I only have 4 contacts. Skype is not a major contender in my realm of communications.

Other Notes.

1. Sagittarius = big on communication. Communication is what some might call "a thing" for me. I think about it a lot. Spare me some angst and adhere to protocol.

Also, I put some iris seeds in the veggie crisper drawer of the fridge sometime last month. More on that later.